me: All scientists are hipsters, that's why they wear glasses. husband: No. me: "I stopped working on electromagnetic induction. It was too current." husband: No. me: "I used to have a passion for oceanography but I got sick of talking about the mainstream." husband: No! me: "Of course I'm not a mathematician. Calculus-based models of the universe are SO derivative." husband: ... me: "I'm an expert on geothermal vents--" husband: Oh my God. me: "--They're probably too deep for you."